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Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Bad News

I was hanging out with my good friend Eliza the other night and we decided it would be a good idea to try and figure out exactly what classes I needed to take in order to graduate. Well, upon further inspection of the University of Akron webpage I discovered that I have twice as much school left to do than I had originally thought. That means that I won't be able to finish up my degree, at least not as a traditional student anyway.

I would have 5 semesters at 9 credits, or 3 semesters at over full-time, if I wanted to graduate. Not only can I not bring myself to leave Olivia that long, but we really can't afford that much school for me to be a stay-at-home-mom when it's all said and done. I am calling the university advisors office to make an appointment to see if there is anything I can do as a distance learning student, or through another college. Either way it's going to be expensive and time consuming.

To be honest, I almost just want to take a break from school. I really thrive on the classroom discussion, and I love learning from the professors in the English Department when they're not psycho feminists, but it really separates me from my family. I have so much work to do and I can't settle for second best, so I end up obsessing over my assignments and neglecting my home life. The final paper I wrote this semester clocked over 30 hours of work in one week, not including classroom time and the paper was only 7 pages long. I know I put more into it than was required, but I wouldn't let myself settle for less than what I did. If I took more classes than I did this semester I don't know when I'd see Olivia and Rob.

I know that there are hordes of my family members and friends groaning in disappointment at this news. I know that I am really close to being done, and that I'll only benefit from having my degree......... I know all of it. But I really want to assure you that if I don't pursue my degree further it is only because I know that it is not what is best for my family. College is supposed to prepare you for your adult life and help you become a contributing member of society. It is supposed to educate you, and help you to mature. I have already reaped those benefits from my experience at Akron U, and if I don't get the degree what I have gained thus far cannot be taken away from me. Besides, when I go down the advisors office and sign my contract with the university I will always only have 47 credits left until I graduate. I will always have all of my required classes completed. And I will always only have electives left to finish before I graduate. I won't always have new babies at home and a young husband trying to get on his feet to support us. I can't get this time back as a young family, but I'll always be a college senior.

My goal is to spend the summer trying to get published as a free-lance writer, and if I can do that, maybe I'll just give up on the degree all together because I'll already be accomplishing all that I hope the degree will help me with.

Could all of you out there in the blogosphere say a prayer for me that I would be able to discern the proper decision? I'll be sure to keep you all updated as to what the university decides.