Sick of hearing me complain, yet?

Well, I intended to get on here and just whine my butt off, but since that didn't sound like any fun to read I am instead going to confess my ridiculous plan. I am so desperate to stop being pregnant that I have bought a bottle of castor oil. Yup, that yucky laxative stuff. My Doctor told me that if I wanted to I could go ahead and use it just to get the pregnancy over with. I didn't even bring it up, she just suggested it. I guess she could tell how miserable I was when she walked in. I wonder if it had anything to do with me nearly sleeping on the chair when she walked in?

Anywho, this stuff works by making you really crampy, and stuff, which then causes you to have contractions. It supposed to work about 85% of the time, so if it doesn't work, then I go through all the grossness of it for nothing. If it doesn't work feel free to tease me to death, I deserve it. The plan is to wait until tomorrow morning (Saturday), just to give myself one more chance to pop on my own. I'm due on Sunday, even though it's been, "any day now," for weeks. So if I take it Saturday I would most likely be having Baby on Saturday or Sunday, that is of course if it works.

I called Ellie last night for moral support because I feel really stupid about even considering this option. I keep saying that I feel like a 14 year old kid who found a pack of cigarettes. I really want to try them, but I know that it's probably gonna get me in trouble. Plus, if I do have the baby after my experiment, then if I freak out or stress out, I'll blame it on myself. Like, "if you'd just not taken that castor oil, you wouldn't be in this predicament." Keep in mind that I know this is unfounded logic. I've been pregnant for a long time now, I knew this baby was coming. Plus, it's been our fault all along, we chose to get pregnant...

So, now everyone knows how silly I am. Luckily, when you're pregnant you are able to blame everything from eating too much to crying at mechanical bears in movies (yes this happened) on hormones. Therefore, I'm playing the hormone card.

fat-fully yours,
Devona.

p.s. How much do you want to bet I'll chicken out and not take it at all? Isn't that how these things always work?